My heart quivered in my chest as I watched her carefully express her heart. Her eyes full of life and hope. Unaware, our chatter continued forward. We covered life and rules and relationships. Boundaries and cell phones and social media. The value of being who you are all the time, no filter, no screen needed. And vice versa. Be who you are all the time. Authenticity.
“But… people always want to know what I did wrong.”
As soon as the words left her lips, my hurt jumped to my throat. I nearly panicked. That’s what she believes? That all boundaries are bad?
“Not true at all… you did nothing wrong, in fact because you have done so well.”
* * *
Boundaries are the yellow and white lines that are on every highway. I can cross a boundary when I need to. To do things like passing or to turn. But if I recklessly cross a boundary I could also end up in the ditch, or wrapped around a telephone pole. Those lines, those boundaries, are there to guide me to my destination. They are there to give me freedom to find my way, take any road I want while they guide me forward.
Boundaries are lines beckoning me to press on, move forward, rise above, arrive at the destination.
* * *
I am her biggest champion. I want her to have the confidence it will take to stay on the road when all the elements of peer pressure and breakups fishtail her off course. I want to cheer through all turns, twists, and open road as she runs her race.
I also want her to understand, to know that every relationship has boundaries. Boundaries are at school and work. Friends and family. Boundaries are healthy and good.
* * *
What other boundaries do we live with that we rarely give second thought to? Can you think of other examples?