No Goodbyes

A week ago God settled something in my heart that had long been boiling in the corner. 11 years long to be exact.

“No more.” He told me sternly, kindly. Words wrapped in the complexity of a father’s command.

But what if I cannot.

“You will. You can.”

* * * *

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To my fellow foster families…

I am the emotional one. The one with my heart on my sleeve and a lump in my throat.

I see you wrestling with the innocence you just lost. Wrestling with the knowledge that moms and dads who love children might not have the tools, the opportunity to give up everything you would give to parent a child.

I hear your hopeful words. I see the longing in your hearts. Some wrestling with infertility and trying to shake the deep unfairness of the idea that some can birth babies with no regard for stewarding their life. It is unfair! Grieve that truth. Do it for you and for the future babies in your arms.

I watch you silently resolve to bring the best of what you can. The popular sitcom This is Us had a message in the first few opening shows…  there is no lemon too sour that you cannot make some type of lemonade.  I see this when I stand before you at class. I feel this as I stand before you leading class. My lemon is why I’m in the room too. And you, you are the sweetest lemonade born from the sourest punch.

I want to wrap you in my arms and share all of my lessons with you. I want to tell you to change the world and save safe place for the deep disappointments that will come. They will come. But you will overcome those too.

I am so proud of all of you. Finding your way, claiming your story, sharing your heart. You bring joy to my heart. You are an encouragement.

You are ready.

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