The Gift of Life – Ten Years Ago

It was a Sunday in April, 2005. My husband and I were being lazy. I was in the final semester of completing my bachelor’s degree at Drake University and had a 14 page marketing research paper due the very next day. As we settled in the office to work, I stood up and felt water trickling down my leg. Not convinced of anything, except that pregnancy ruins a person – lol – I went and stood in the bathroom and confirmed that my water had indeed ruptured.

There was no nesting for me. Just good ol’ procrastination! Ha!

Still in denial that this was real, I called the doctor. I wasn’t feeling any contractions but they advised me to come in to be monitored. So we casually, seriously, casually, loaded up and went to the hospital. All the things they tell you to bring we took but left in the car. We really lived in some hilarious cloud of disbelief.

* * *

We settled in and the doctor informed me that I was in fact having contractions, I simply wasn’t recognizing (or feeling) them. I didn’t have any epidural or anything with this baby of mine. Just the sheer comfort of ignorance and the hundred million prayers for my body to not fight labor but embrace it. My fav pregnancy book: Supernatural childbirth had given me courage enough to believe and understand that a contraction is just that. A contracting of a muscle that does get sore and tired, but does not in itself inflict pain. God met me there. Why, I don’t know. It was a gift for me. You know, before “Push Presents” were really a thing.

* * *



Zachariah Barak Wennerstrom was born on April 24, 2005

* * *

“The biggest risk is not taking any risk … In a world that’s changing really quickly,

the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.” — Mark Zuckerberg

Zach was the biggest risk I have ever taken in my life. In MY type A, perfectionist, career-driven life. God used him to shatter walls. Zach was born whole, healthy and perfect. He was given to me despite of my shortcomings and failures. God gifted us with grace enough to be this little man’s parents. He would be ten today.

Would be.

His life story wasn’t written the way we desperately wanted it to go but there is grace in that too. The biggest risk carries the best satisfaction, peace, and accomplishment. His life changed mine.

Matt sometimes likes to ask me what I think our family would look like if Zach hadn’t passed. I cannot bear the thought. My children are mine, because this little man dared to wreck my world, my heart, and teach me that at the very end of the day, the end of the moment of life, sharing love, hard selfless love takes the cake.

God is the giver of life and He gave the best gift, the gift of a life full of love, now and forever. Hope eternal. That’s what I think about today. I think about 10 years ago when I was birthing a child into this world and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. I would have held on to my innocence just as much as I refuse to consider my life without the 5 living children and a husband I tend to.  Hope and love are beautifully woven together. In the broken, in the joy. In the birth days!

* * *

Happy birthday Zach!

I love you.

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Category: JT's Journey, Zachariah
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